The House of Long Shadows (1983)
This is quite possibly the crappiest movie you'll ever love. The House of Long Shadows assembles the veritable Harlem Globetrotters of horror and somehow falls flat on its face in this "horror-spoof" though they are really stretching the term "spoof". Conceptually, you want to cream yourself before you even pop this puppy in your player, and throughout the whole film you're just waiting for the sheer awesomeness you know is about to happen to happen....all the way up until the credits roll. Then you sit staring blankly at the screen feeling shortchanged and let down and wondering how Saruman, Grand Moff Tarkin, the voice from Thriller, and that old guy that you've seen a million times but can't place managed to come together and give you a visual equivalent to watching bingo night at your local Shriner's hall. Still, I'd watch it again just because...
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