Reports from Washington have warned us of an approaching radio program that could send our community into fits of fear induced insanity! Lock your doors! Hide your children! Wear some diapers! At its current speed, scientists predict it could be in your area on MONDAY OCTOBER 26th AT 8PM - 10PM! Research also supports that listening to the full 2 hours could melt your brain!
Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes... The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
BEWARE! It's coming, and cannot be stopped!