Thursday, November 19, 2009

Put this in your clam bake, bitch cake.

You know, I don't often post movie trailers and what not up here anymore, cause it seems you can't swing a dead twitter account around without hitting some sort of "movie blogger" these days....however, I couldn't resist posting this little gem I watched recently. Oh, and by gem, I mean the lowest point in Kevin Sorbo's career. Or the highest, depending on how you look at it. I'd much rather BE bitch slapped than actually have to watch "Bitch Slap".

The terrible over use of poor slow motion and green screen effects are enough to make me spurt milk out my nose, but the tag line is the real kicker:

"BITCH SLAP is a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the “B” Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950’s - 70’s as well as a loving, sly parody of the same. Inspired by the likes of Dragstrip Girl;, Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill; Kung Fu Nun and the pantheon of Blaxploitation films, BITCH SLAP will mix girls, guns, outrageous action and jaw-dropping visuals with a message… don’t be naughty! At its core, BITCH SLAP follows three bad girls (a down-and-out stripper, a drug-running killer and a corporate powerbroker) as they arrive at a remote desert hideaway to extort and steal $200 Million in diamonds from a ruthless underworld kingpin. Things quickly spin out of control as allegiances change, truths are revealed, other criminals arrive for the score, the fate of the world hangs in the balance and they are forced to confront a villain much worse than they ever expected… themselves. It’s the ultimate morality tale as, one by one, they realize the whole she-bang was a set-up and one of them may not even be human… What also makes BITCH SLAP different is a complicated “B” story device that runs throughout the film to illuminate character, backstory and relationship histories not previously revealed. Like the film Memento, these scene flashbacks take place in reverse, so by the end of the film, you have a wholly different take on who these women are and why they are behaving so badly. Bet you never saw THAT in Jailbait Babysitter!"

I love the usage of things like "complicated" "ultimate morality tale" "post-modern" "thinking man's" and especially "jaw-dropping visuals with a message"

These movies get made. Somehow.
...and yet I still can't get a movie deal.

1 comment:

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