Tuesday, October 29, 2013
The Howling: Episode VIII
At last we arrive at the end, or rather, the latest in this debauched, crazy franchise. Truly, this was a jarring experience. The Howling VII: Pappy's Revenge was "made" in 1995, one of only two Howling films made in the 90s, and successfully killed off the franchise until recently. The 90s were ill-fitting for this enterprise, so I can only imagine how it will exist in 2011 when the dist...oh, fuck me in the face with rabies, it's Twilight.
I've seen werewolf pouches with finger-puppets, I've seen fur-orgies, mullet lords, and a horde of crackers talking about their chili farts, but this Howling movie was the most ideologically offensive, I think. To some degree, we'll always regard the schlock of the past more forgivingly than the schlock of the present. Objectively, this wasn't any better or worse than previous entries, and ranks as one of the most competently put-together of the bunch, but still. The werewolf suits are so so, but the transformation sequences are painless CG, which reinforces the notion that lycanthropy is a totes cool mutant power. Feh.
The Gaffer's Rating: 1.5 Snausages out of 4.
And that's it for this year's Franchise Follies! I hope you had fun watching me suffer through the bizarre ineptitude that is a franchise capitalizing on the minor success of one film by launching non-sequential, barely tangential direct-to-video sequels. I know you did, sadistic bastards. What surfeit of sequels will I unearth for next year? Only time will tell.
Posted by The Gaffer